After four long hours, waiting to meet my little boy, I was finally able to go see him in the NICU. The doors of intensive care opened, and there he was, the most beautiful little boy in the whole world. I fell in love instantly. Our first hello would be our goodbye. Our first cuddle would be our last together in this world.
We were told he could fight no more, and that they had done all they could to save him, but he was just so very sick.
We made the heart-breaking decision to turn off his life support and let him go peacefully. He slipped away and grew his wings in the early hours after he was placed in my arms. He changed our hearts irrevocably. In those brief moments we shared together. I can’t explain the lessons he taught me, the love I felt and the overwhelming desire as his mum to make sure his life meant something.
Days later a consultant spoke to us whilst I was still pregnant with his twin, Oska, because every minute, every hour inside gave him a stronger chance of survival.
He sat us down and said “Sometimes, the sickest twin knows it’s poorly, and makes the most noble sacrifice to save the other”
That’s what our boy did. He became Oska’s guardian angel and saved his life. I truly believe that. He saved my life too.
I am so honoured to be the mum of someone so brave, so selfless. He is my greatest hero.
This here, is his legacy.
Lottie x